What is exactly new, about this upcoming year?
I can travel to the corners of the world.. In the end, it doesn't matter much; I'm strangely lucky, that I've had some of the experiences I've had as of lately, considering I've been home. But those come from people for me, not from the places I go, or the things I see. If I take the time to reflect this year, It will mostly be about people.
The relationship everyone talks about wishing they had; Yeah, I had the "Crazy" girl, who loved you no matter what, and seemed to be driven by insanity... But it was only b/c she wants to be w/e it is you need, whenever you need it. Some people thought she was nuts, others thought I was lucky. It was nice to have someone be there whenever you needed the smallest thing. I just didn't get down with the emotional weight involved with it. Or, the obligation that came from it. I don't do obligation, at all. It's entirely too much for me. So... I let her go. Things get easier with the right training.
Do I regret it? Only if I believe that I missed my once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Which is a direct result of my impatience. It comes with being young, i'm sure.
The girl who out of nowhere magically steps into your life, spiritually transforms it, and leaves the same way she entered. If I were given a chance to ask for her, I still wouldn't of done it right. She brought a peace to me, that made me giddy. It was refreshing, serene. My mind spent hours trying to put words and logic, to something that couldn't be explained. Growing up, I realized how easy it was to be forgotten. I had a moment, looking through a childhood friend's photo album. He had pictures of all the whole group hanging out, but I wasn't in one picture, which I thought to be ironic b/c I brought the whole group together. They were people I had met, and introduced to one another so we could all be a group.
So I spent as much time as possible trying to develop my character; my sense of self... Grabbing every possible lesson I could, out of every situation life seemed to place me into. I read ridiculously, for mental agility and grammar. I learned how to laugh at myself through even near-death situations. The "end" result, was that even if I met someone briefly, they'd remember me. That I would be able to bring a peace to whomever I crossed paths with, young or old. To meet another that has had the same effect on me, revitalized me to say the least. More like, inspired me beyond measure. But as I know very well, there are some people, no matter how wonderful they are, weren't meant to hold on to.. Only meant to be appreciated.
Where ever you find yourself, I hope it allows you entry into the realm you are searching for.
Then there's the protege; I look at him, knowing one of these days, I will kick myself in the chest with a steel-toe boot, simply b/c I have created my own arch-nemesis. It's an amazing thing to see someone pick up such quick lessons, and apply them in an almost mirror-like fashion. I accepted him, knowing that he would force me to move forward, mentally. I was becoming lazy; the continued search for mental and spiritual growth, among peers whom were only focused on material possessions, and false ownership, were boring me. Out of nowhere, this random brainiac kid approaches me at a party, already knowing who I was, and what I was known for, and was asking for apprentice-ship.
I still don't know how these situations find me.
Now, it seems almost as if "the hour is approaching". I had to humour myself. Seriously though; watching his gains in character, and being able to teach him how to search himself for his own answers... Just the overall growth into himself as been quite the experience. He's a young enterpreneur, in a sense. Learning how to spot numerous opportunities and act on it, and do it the correct way; firmly, yet without force. I see great things for him.
As for me? I'm going to eventually take this cloak off, and show what I can really do... Everything happens when it's time. This isn't just a new year for me.. It's the slowly-paced collection of every experience I was hoping for in my youth.
